Building Your Child's Self-Esteem

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The Four R's of Punishment

Parenting, Teaching Links

1. Notice the good and say something about it everyday....."You picked up your toys, thanks!"....."You are being nice to your sister, I like that."

2. Give your child choices everyday....."Would you like to wear the red pants or the blue ones? Do you want peanut butter or ham for lunch? Would you like to go to bed at 7 or 7:30?" Often just having a choice will eliminate a lot of misbehavior. Give them a choice between just two items, though. More than that could be overwhelming, and no choice at all makes children feel powerless.

3. Use your child's interests as the basis for conversation....."I see you playing with your cars a lot. Do you like them? What do you like about them? How do you make them go so fast?" etc......"What is it about dinosaurs you like so much?"

4. Use AS SOON AS in place of IF....."As soon as you are dressed, you can watch TV." If you do nothing else but begin to use this one tip, you will find a remarkable increase in positive behavior. Dr. Lynn Clark author of SOS Help for Parents calls this Grandma's Rule.

5. Allow your child to cry. If your child is crying, he has something to cry about. You could be most helpful by simply commenting, "you feel really sad," or "I can see you really wanted that toy." Just acknowledging their sadness, anger or disappointment is enough.

©Martha A. Burich
email: marthab@goodparentsense.com

You can find many more tips in the book: Good Parent Sense

If I were to search for the central core of difficulties in people as I have come to know them, it is that in a great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable.

Dr. Carl Rogers